Little Thank U Card! =)

Received a little thank u card (about the size of a name card) from my god-daughter, Erinne. It's for the present i gave her this X'mas. Gave her a action doll, Bloom from Winx Club ~ animation of a group of gals with fairy wings and magical powers when they transform.

Gotta thanks Winz for helping me out in choosing the present. Was quite torn between getting a barbie doll and this. Winz reminded me that she has a lot of barbies and she's very much into Winx Club. So, that seals the deal.



Back to the card ~ she made it herself with drawings of a sun, puffy clouds, green pastures, tree, beautiful butterfly and a lovely big flower with a Big Thank You at the side. =)

The little card reflects her most inner childlike qualities and her most sincere thanks from her heart and i'm really happy. It seems that people often want to grow out of these childlike qualities that we have, thinking that it will make us more mature once we do so.

Little do we realise it is these very childlike qualities that enable us to see each and every moment in its purest form, the present moment with all its wonderful and infinite possibilities offered. If we were to lose all of these qualities, we will not be able to see this present moment anew which is the most precious of all gifts.

May you and loved ones find peace, joy and many wondrous moments in the new year ahead! =)

Food Allergies

Just gotten back the results for my food intolerance test from my co's doc last friday. Blood used for the clinical test was taken about a week earlier.

I must say that such tests are not very well known in Singapore. Dr Ho has heard of such tests but known it to be done in States and they cost approximately 3 - 4 thousand dollars. I'm quite lucky that Dr Tong knew of one local lab that does a similiar test on a smaller sampling of food.

Of course, it is not as comprehensive as the ones done in States but still, the local abbreviated test will include a total of 150 common food items. At that number, the sampling is already large enough for me.

Like the chinese saying goes, 病從口入 and so you might actually say that i have been looking forward to seeing the results. I was hoping to gain an insight of what might or could have been the cause of my recent frequent bouts of illnesses.

From the results, it seems that i'm reactive to quite a number of foods. The ones that i'm highly intolerant are cabbage, sunflower, string beans, malt, mushroom and cauliflower. These are to be the big NOs in my diet.

There's also a whole list of others which i'm most likely to be intolerant but reactions will range from mild to medium. They include coffee, yeast, honeydew, garlic, oysters, sugar cane, crab, navy bean, eggwhite, clam, green pea, trout, chocolate, ice-cream and so on..

A lot of friends remarked that it's going to be a torture as most of them are very much common food found in our daily diet and worse still, the very fact that i'm a coffee lover. Most wondered... isn't it gonna be difficult?

Not so difficult, i think. Afterall when we do consume our food, we are suppose to be mindful enough to consume our food in such a way that we nourish our body and not to make it sick! =)

Yes, i do believe that we should enjoy our food but the most important thing is that it should not become an addiction. If we find it hard to cut off one type of food or another, it just simply mean that we have a craving or addiction for it. Then all the more, we need to let it go.

Ultimately, it's for the good of the body. As the Buddha nicely put it, Health is the precious gain, Contentment the greatest wealth. What more can we ask for when we have a healthy body and a mind free of addictions. =)

Oh, by the way, i've already changed my daily diet and so far, i have been drinking tea instead of coffee for my daily breakfast. Even in the office, no coffee for me so far. I intend to keep coffee to the occassional evening or weekend gatherings with friends so that i will not over consume it, causing harm to my body. =)

Let's all take care of our bodies and mind. =) May all of us be well and happy. =)

Happy Feet

3 of us celebrated Mark's birthday last weekend. Quite the simple affair ~ dinner and a midnight show.

Come to think of it, for the few of us as we get older, such celebrations becomes simpler and more personal with just a few good friends gathering for a good dinner or just a good cup of coffee.
Had a late dinner at The Manhattan Fish Market in Plaza Singapura. We are fairly pleased with the food, sharing a platter for 3. To make the meal a healthier one, 3 of us shared a plate of salad. Well, one ought to try to have some greens as a daily habit.

After that, we moved on to Cathay for a late nite show. No prizes for guessing what show we caught. Think the title says it all ~ Happy Feet. Quite a good movie that caters to both the young and old.

For the young, there are lots of cute and loveable characters like Mumble, Gloria, Lovelace the Guru and the five latin penguins namely, Ramon, Lombardo, Nestor, Rinaldo and Raul that provides all the cutesy and laughable moments.

For the adults, the movie will provide much food for thoughts. In the movie, it will touch on the fact that the elders of tradition and religion should not hold on to their faith and teachings blindly, ignoring other possibilites that is outside of their world.

It emphasises that tradition and religion should also be in touch with the outside world which is everchanging. We should not ignore the ideas no matter how radical or how young the person who is offering the advice. Otherwise decline is almost certain if faith is followed blindly.

Another major message that the movie is bringing across is the amount of damage that we are doing to Mother Earth. How bad the pollution is today and how over-harvesting of Earth's resources is damaging her every single moment. It asks us to consider how we may improve the lives of all the beings sharing this Earth.

The next time we dispose our little piece of rubbish, let us be mindful and dispose it in its proper bin provided for it. Let's not just dump in into the drain or stream as it may well end up in the vast ocean and harm some little life out there. =)

In anycase, do enjoy Mumble and his gang if you are watching it anytime in the near future! =)

Quick Update for Oct & Nov'06 =)

Just a quick update on my recent happenings for the last one and half months.
Went to taipei & hualien of taiwan for a short holiday with dad from 23/10/2006 to 29/10/2006. I'll probably do a short write up on the trip once i'm done with fotos. Think it's nicer to complement the writings with some pics. =)

Finally edited my fren's ROM pics which i took as the officical photographer on 14th Oct 2006 after coming back from my taiwan trip. Developed and gave a set of the prints to her as my wedding gift. LH, sorry for the delays and many blessings for your marriage again! =) Hope most of the shots i took was to your liking!

After that, it was mainly shuttling between office, school and home as usual. So nothing out of the extraordinary except that i finally got my hands on the long awaited book 2 (paperback) of the Dragonlance - Amber Series by Margaret Weis and the 3 graphic novels on Forgotten Realms - Dark Elf Drizzt (it was out of stock for a good 2 months or more and i've been hunting them for sometime).

Had my final 2 revision classes in the first 2 saturday mornings of November and my exams done and over on yesterday 23/11/2006. Now, i'm just waiting for my results to be released late jan next year. =)

Surprises =)

Gotten quite a few surprises these couple of days, all pleasant!=)

First of all, thanks for all the well wishes that i've gotten from all of you on my 28th Day of Life Gift (it's a description i picked up from a novel, nicely reflecting the fact that being alive is the greatest gift). Really appreciate the kind thoughts and gestures. =>

Thanks to mei for arranging the little get together with hong and jia. =) Haven't seen them for nearly 2 years. Mei didn't even let me in the bag that they are joining us for dinner on tues. Yes mei, you caught me off-balanced there. I was really surprised to see jia strolling into Coffee Bean at Scotts smiling at me since i wasn't expecting anyone else except mei.

Hong came in couple of mins later after jia and our gathering was completed with mei arriving in just a little while. Nice simple dinner completed with a cup of warm coffee. Simplicity is beauty after all and the simplest pleasures in life can be so uplifting for our spirits. Updated one another with recent and not-so-recent happenings and most of our conversation revolved around our travels. =) Nice catching up, we should do it more often. =)

Btw mei, nice gift! It's the first time i received a gift of that colour. You are one of those people that doesn't fail to surprise. =) And ya, how can i not write something for hong and jia as well? Thanks for the little surprise you gave me at Borders. It's awfully nice of you both. =)

On thurs when i meet up with Qin, i got another surprise. Yup, qin gave me a gift that a guy like me could never have guessed it coming. Total surprise for me once again! Haha, i'm not gonna put down what are the gifts that i have gotten so far from mei and qin. You can go ahead and guess all you want. =P

Anyway, back to it. Gotten dinner with qin at Eclectic Attic, it's a small concept store on level 5 of Plaza Singapura (besides Spotlight) selling very unique furnitures and accessories. Food is reasonably priced and most importantly, thumbs up for the service and the ambient! Nice and cosy. Nice easy evening with qin and did quite a bit of catching up as well. Qin, thanks again for the surprise! =)

Additional thanks - 14th Oct
Just a bit of editing to do on this post. Like to give my thanks and gratitude to another 4 persons for their lovely gift. They are qiang, hao, mark and yin. Gift came right in just when i was about to get a similiar one myself. Couldn't have it at a better timing than this. Thanks fellas! =)

爱还是被爱, 誰比較幸福?

It happened several times, mostly during small talks with friends. Not too sure how such remarks came about but it sort of left an impression on me since it was not the first time i heard such remarks.

Quite a number of them commented that i was likely to be on the losing end if i ever end up in a relationship since i'm not a very dominating guy. Yes, they think i'll be bullied (if you want to hear it in a layman's term). I find it funny though as i felt that there is no such thing as a losing party in a relationship. Afterall, everyone grows in the journey of life even though at times we can be quite blind to our own growth and that of others.

One of my colleagues, a working mum, said to me, "You are just like my son, the type that will get bullied by the wife if you ever get married." She continued, "You better get someone who loves you more than you love her. That's what i always reminded my son." Naturally, i asked why? For record sake, her rationale behind her reasoning ~ it is always more fortunate to be loved than to love.

How true is that? Do you agree with my colleague? Sorry if i seemed a little distracted over the weekend but i was pondering over it. I'm sure everyone has an answer just like me ~ at the bottom of our hearts. It's all within us, though some of us may take sometime to find it while some like me just need to reaffirm the presence of this answer that we knew all along was there.

Reflecting on my past and looking at the people in front of me, i think the more fortunate party is the one who is able to love. If i can and if i will, i wish to love more than to be loved even when it means that i may have to endure a little more in the relationship. It may seem a little silly but when we think carefully, it is not silly at all and it might be the most logical thought we may ever have.

When we truly love a person, we do want the person whom we love to be well and happy without any conditions attached. We will also very much like to know that our loved ones are feeling as blissful as they can ever be and they know they are being loved as much as they ever deserved to. Afterall, we cannot be happy if our loved ones are not well and happy. My greatest joy in life does not come from my own happiness (don't be mistaken, i'm still happy when i'm happy) but rather it comes from the knowledge that my loved ones are well and happy.

I'm not saying that it will be a bed of roses if we all think that way. (Sometimes, i don't even how to begin to show my care and concern for people, i can be quite inept at showing my feelings) Nobody's perfect but as long as i know that i have such a mentality, i will be more mindful of my actions and so less likely to hurt the people i care for. If i ever hurt you in anyway, please forgive me as i really never meant to in the very first place.

Anger

Anger ~ what is anger?

It's a mental affliction that all of us experienced before and will most certainly continue to do so in the future. Some might have more experiences while some felt it in a greater intensity and there are others who experienced it on a lesser degree. Nonetheless, it is a basic universal mental phenomenon that no one is spared even though the degree of intensity and complexity may differ from beings to beings.

Why is anger an affliction of the mind? I believed it is so defined as it is a state of misery for who ever is experiencing anger at the moment in time. If a sense of peace or happiness or well-being is liken to being in paradise as the state of the mind, then to experience anger or hatred, the mental state should be liken to being in hell, a state of suffering. Since it is state of suffering, to experience one lesser moment of it, is to experience one more moment of peace and happiness.

Not only is anger a state of suffering, its destructive nature has far reaching consequences on the people around us and its surroundings. It destroys the calmness within our own minds and very much due to this, it is most likely that we will not be able to treat surrounding people and happenings with love and equanimity. More than likely, our actions and speech will be those that are hurtful, destroying harmonious relationships that we have.

Since it is a state of suffering, there must be a cause for such suffering. Based on the Four Noble Truths, there will be the cessation of suffering and there must be a path that will lead to the cessation of suffering. Thus, in order for us to overcome anger, we need to understand how anger works and how it arises. So, do you know how it arises? I hope you do and that you will be free from its causes. =)

Anger can only arise when we care for someone or something but fail to realise its true nature. Without correct understanding, it will cloud whatever care, concern or love that we may want to show in the first place. For example, a labourer returned home after a hard day's work, only hoping to get a good nite rest. However, his peaceful slumber was soon disrupted by the loud wailing from his little girl. " Arghh... What is the matter?" he thought. "Can't i even have a good nite rest? Is that too much to ask for? What's wrong with that girl?'"

He went over to his daughter room thinking to give her a peace of his mind. He reached out with his hand wanting to shake the girl out of her slumber but the moment he touched her, he realised that she is very warm. She is running a fever and with that understanding, all traces of anger were gone from him. Instead, he went to get a wet towel to ease his daughter's suffering with such tenderness that anyone will be touched upon seeing such a sence.

So, did the father only realise his love when the daughter is sick? No, the love has always been there. It was only the father's own narrow views that made him lose sight that he was not the only one suffering. At the same time, he is not his daughter and so, he did not know what his girl was going through. That gave rise to anger. As mentioned, anger can only arise when you care. If you couldn't care less or if it was a total stranger, would you be angry at all? I doubt so although you might be annoyed.

Since we care, why get angry in the first place? Well, because there is no understanding between the parties involved. Without understanding, love can be clouded and unable to surface but please do not doubt its existence, it is always there. With this, it is my sincere wish that all of us will be free from anger and that we may enjoy one more moment of peace and happines. =)

May we all be free from anger and enmity,
May we all be free from mental suffering,
May we all be free from physical suffering,
May we all take care of ourselves happily.
With metta =)

Chill Out @ Giraffe

Met up last fri with some frens whom i haven't seen for a long time (er.. with the exception of MW since we usually meet up for skate sessions on sundays).

Thanks to YY! Cos without her, this gathering would not have happened. =) At the same, congrats to YY once more! Her big day is coming next month and we all got our little pink cards from her during the gathering. May your future days with your hubby be filled with many blissful moments of love, joy and peace. =)

Had a good dinner at Swensen's in Orchard and goodness, MW never fails to amaze me on the amount food he can stomach down. =P After dinner, we took a little stroll along Orchard to help digestion and we finally rested ourselves at Giraffe for a drink.

It's a nice little establishment located at the Istana Park. The place looks extremely pleasing to the eyes with great colour combinations and furniture layout. Haha, to match their name, there are definitely giraffe figures around the place. Btw, the staff are friendly and the service provided is definitely good. Thumbs up for that. =)

Haha, seems that the guys are all getting more and more "uncle" while the ladies keep looking better. =P manage to get a candid shot of the clown in our group ~ Ev and just realised from that foto she looked a bit like one of Lucy Liu's disguise used in Charlie Angels. Oh, just a little intro to the rest, MW is the guy on the far left, MT is the other uncle ~ a happy nut cos most of the time, you will find him in smiles and laughter. The lady in yellow, that's YY, our great organiser who made this outing possible.

SFF 2006

I know it's long over but just a little contribution from me on the Singapore Fireworks Festival 2006 that was held in conjunction with our National Day. =)

What is Buddhism?

The intention of having this topic in writing, came after some reflections on the questions about Buddhism that my surrounding friends posted every now and then. If there are views that are not in accordance to the Teachings, please bear with me as it is due to my lack of understanding.

Buddhism is commonly regarded as a religion by the general populace. How do we define a religion? From what we can gather in our daily lives, a religion is usually made out to be a belief in and reverence for a creator and governor of the universe. It can also be seen as a personal or institutionalized system with its ways of worships made on the same beliefs.

Based on such a definition, can we look upon Buddhism as a religion? Before we jump into any conclusion, it will be best if we have a better understanding of Buddhism and its origins.

Buddhism has its origins in India from a monk named Gautama who attained the Great Awakening in his thirties. Right after attaining enlightenment, a man who was greatly impressed by his radiance, went up and asked, "Who are you? Are you a man or are you a god?". Monk Gautama replied, "I'm neither. I'm awake." Thereafter, he was known as the Buddha, meaning "One who has Awoke".

In his first discourse that he delivered (also one of the most important discourses he made), he talked about the Four Noble Truths. They are

1. There is suffering;
2. There is a cause of suffering;
3. There is cessation of suffering;
4. There is a path leading to the cessation of suffering.

To awaken to the truth about this conditioned world and to end suffering, one must uproot ignorance as the roots of suffering lie in ignorance itself. How do we do it then? In Buddhism, to uproot ignorance, one leads the Noble Eightfold Path which entails the following

1. Right Views
2. Right Thoughts
3. Right Speech
4. Right Action
5. Right Livelihood
6. Right Mindfulness
7. Right Effort
8. Right Concentration

When we talk about ignorance in Buddhism, we mean to say that one takes to believing what is impermanent to be permanent and non-self to be self. This is also where many starts to hear about emptiness. Emptiness in Buddhism is not just being empty but it is to mean that all is empty of a independent self, there is non-self, there is dependent co-arising.

As the Buddha has put it nicely, "This is because that is. That is because this is. This is not because that is not. That is not because this is not." For if there is a a independent self, it will not need to grow, to interact with the rest of this world thus it cannot be known to us. As such, it is necessary to uproot such false views for liberation, total freedom.

Furthermore it is also important to note that Buddha believes that everyone is liable for their own actions and conduct, most importantly, their own liberation. He dismissed the idea that there is an ultimate creator for if there is, then there would be no recourse for those who did great wrongs. And that there are murderers, thieves, rapists and evil-doers are at no fault and wrong as they are not here on their own intentions but they are here for the only reason that they are created to do wrong in the first place by this ultimate creator.

Furthermore the Buddha has chosen to remain silent on several occasions when he was posed with questions that revolves around the topic of an eternal world or eternal soul. He liken the people who asked such questions to someone who has been wounded by an arrow.

Instead of treating and taking care of the wound immediately, the wounded choose to first find out, where did the arrow come from, who shot it, what was the texture of the arrowhead and what wood is the arrow made of and refusing treatment till these questions are answered. Such questions do not deserve our attention as the answers will not bring one closer to enlightenment. Rather cultivation of oneself for liberation is far more important than questions on the metaphysical.

There is so much more to Buddhism and i have barely scratched on it. I will be more than glad to share more about it but in the meantime, think about it, what about your views on Buddism now - Is Buddhism a religion or is it something else or more? =)

Lunch Talk - Balanced Life

QY, my good old secondary school friend, was having her training at Park View Square and we met each other for lunch. It was a good lunch and to top it up, we had an excellent conversation about our personal views on having a well balanced life.

What is a well balanced life? I'm sure everyone of us has a common answer for it. It is the sort of life that we lead in order to bring joy and happiness into the various aspects of everyday living. Some of the main aspects being spiritual, social, intellectual and work.

Of course, everyone is unique and so places different emphasis on each single aspect of their life. There is no right and wrong weightage nor is there a standard amount of attention that one should place for each. As long as it brings about temporal and ultimate happiness, then one can consider that the current way that one leads their life is a good way. If it brings about suffering in our life, then we should reflect and try to reorganise our life style.

During our conversation, we reached a common understanding and i would like to draw your attention to this fact. The fact that we tend to neglect the social aspect of our life. It seems that most metropolitans living in a fast paced city tend to spend very little quality time with their family and friends. This is a well known fact and it is hardly healthy at all.

For simplification purposes, let's look at the average life of an working adult working from 9 to 6 during the weekdays and assuming we rests an average of 8 hours per day. On a normal working day, that is a total of 17 hours gone, leaving you with 7 hours. Take away 2 or 3 hours for travelling time to and fro, we probably have about 4 hours left. 4 hours left each day to do whatever is required to fulfill your social, intellectual and spiritual aspects of living. Seems hardly enough especially when we have to make up for the other 3 main aspects of our life.

We might argue that we have the whole of our weekend for the developing and fulfillment of all our other commitments. Giving us a total of 32 waking hours for the weekends and a total of 52 hours per week. That works out to be just slightly under half of our waking time (112 hours) per week. Is that enough? Some might say yes and some might say no. It's really up to the individual. But to me, if everything being equal, we are spending less than 50% of our time on 75% makeup of our life and more than 50% on 25% of our life's makeup.

Since we know that we might already be living an unbalanced lifestyle, do we really want to make it worse by getting our priorities wrong? Should we not pay more attention to some other things in our life that we may be neglecting all these while especially people like loved ones (parents, siblings, friends,etc...) ~ and i cannot stress more than enough ~ the study of our spiritual life so that we may lead our life with our surroundings in a more harmonious relationship (this is definitely lacking in a lot of us including myself).

I wish all of you well in finding the true path of your life and that you and your loved ones may always dwell in peace, joy and happiness! =)

Me ~ A Medic (haha, soon to be.....)

Has been a while since my last blog update. Some of you guys also noticed i haven't been online in msn for a couple of weeks. Haha, if you don't know, i'm having my In Camp Training (ICT) and i got slightly more than a week to go till the completion of my ICT.

Currently, doing a Medical Orderly Course at Civil Defence Academy at Jalan Bahar. Great training facilities but such a secluded place... haha, i got to wake up at 5.30 every morning and travel nearly 2 hours to get there....

It's a great course and we learned quite a number of stuff. Now, most of us are equipped with better knowledge of the human body and how it works. =) Of course, we are not as well trained as the paramedics or the full time medics. But some basic critical life saving skills were passed on to us, so that we may help one another in times of emergency.

Skills such as CPR, checking for vital signs, how to provide emergency first aid for wounded people were all part and parcel of the course. Yup, sure thing that we had tests for all these. e.g we performed a full CPR on a dummy and the computer actually has a print out for us grading our skills.

The more difficult test was to setup one of your buddies on a IV drip. haha, guess all of us were nervous about poking each other with needle of a substantial size. =)

Any volunteers out there for me to hone my IV drip skills? (^-^)

蘇慧倫 - 蘇慧倫 同名專輯

蘇慧倫 - a name that i'm sure most of us will find familiar with. The name of a young bubbly lady that captured thousands of hearts with catchy tunes such as Lemon Tree, 鴨子, 傻瓜 and classic love songs such as 我一個人住, 滿足. It has been quite a number of years since her last release, the latest being the compilation of her greatest hits in 2003.

This time, Tarcy chose a very different approach for this album and results? An absolute joy it was for me. I even find the album cover and fotos most complimentary to the general feeling the album is trying to achieve.

What about the songs? They were carefully selected (in my opinion) to portray the sense being of a girl who has walked through the paths of life. And in the process, she has grown wiser, stronger, more elegant and sensual. The general flow of the songs is good except no. 3 and 6 which i felt did not fit in all that well. Not saying that they are no good on their own (they are good songs to listen to individually) but somehow it seems to elude the general sense of smoothness in flowing from one track to the next.

As for the fotos, you'll find Tarcy in a simple white dress and most of the time, in the mood of reflective thoughts. And to be truthfully honest, i'm quite enthralled by these pics portraying a simple sense of elegancy in the nature of pure simplicity. =)

01. 不想想太多

02. 愛了就懂了

03. 我的勇敢我的快樂

04. 輪廓

05. 愛情華爾茲

06. 找到幸福那年

07. 告訴我

08. 我們

09. Hey Boy

10. 失眠特快車

Knowing You, Knowing Me

Sparked off by some recent conversations with different friends.

When you will truly know a person? Sometimes the answer can be a whole lifetime; and for some, it can be a very long time such as minimally a couple of years; and almost never within a few weeks or a few months. You may disagree with me but there is a difference between affinity (otherwise your commonly known chemistry or fate) and knowing a person well.

There can be spontaneity between two persons and they seem also to be able to know and complement the thinking of each other but that is not true knowing of a person. Of course there are certain people whom you can get to know much better or deeper in a shorter time frame than another person whom you may have known for a longer time. It all depends on each individual as each of our encouter is unique but it will definitely take time.

My friends, as you read this, ask yourself this question ~ how well do you know your good friends. I'm sure if you really look deeply and truthfully, then the answer is not very. There might be some mutual understanding and trust developed over the years but the answer remains the same, we don't. If not, how can we otherwise explain why married couples fight. If they truly know each other and developed their empathy for their partner to the point of perfection, there will not be any disagreement in the first place. That is why in relationship, we learn to communicate and be truthful and sincere about our dealings. If we have not done so in the past, let us do so in the present and the future.

Told a friend that there are 3 types of chemistry out there (sorry for generalisation as it can never be truly what you called an accruate reflection of reality but i need to illustrate my point) : -

1) people whom you develop an affinity for,

2) people who develop an affinity for yourself and

3) people who develop mutual affinity with you

The illustration came about as part of the explanation to my friend's question on my singlehood after so many years (haha) which is coming close to a decade. Not that i did not meet ladies that i feel that i have an affinity with but it also depends whether they feel the same thing for me too. I believe it has to be mutual and i do not believe in rushing into a relationship without knowing a person better and that takes time.

If we enter into a relationship whom we have an affinity for but your partner is pressed into the relationship and the chemistry is not mutual, the result can be devasating. What happened if your other half meets their deemed "One" in a later stage of the relationship? Your partner might feel obliged to stay on the relation and you may remain oblivious to that fact and he/she suffers as you are not his/her "True One". If not, he/she leaves you and if you can't let go, you will feel betrayed. Either way, someone gets hurt.

What happened if you are the one that the other party develops a chemistry for but you do not feel the same. Based on the above, my advice is ~ don't get involved if you can find your heart to care for that person. You do not want to hurt the person if the roles are as reversed in the above-mentioned scenario. As said many times before, compassion and love has to be tempered with wisdom, otherwise it will be idiotic compassion and love. This is also mindfulness training, to be mindful and considerate of the people that appear in your life, no matter how brief it may be. I think i made my point here. Do you get it?

My dear friends, i will continue more of this topic in private if you wish. Hahaha, I don't wish to bore the rest of my friends that only like to read very short entries.

Btw, for those in love, i wish you all the best in your relationships and that may be many moments of blissfulness for you and your partner. =)

In Remembrance of My Godmother, Xiang

In less than 3 months, our family had to deal with loss of another member, my aunt. She was more than aunt to me, she was also my godmother.

But the one most affected was my uncle, having to deal with the loss of a brother (my 3rd uncle Hai) and now the loss of his wife, whom he shared his life with over the last 40 years. I pray that in his griefing, his health will not suffer as it had been a most heart wrenching sight to see him suffer so much.

My godmother was a lady that was well loved by us. She had always been there for us with a ready smile and if she ever had a temper, i can only say that she had one of the best temper in the world. She always looked out for her family and relatives, putting our interests before her own ~ the reason why many were greatly shocked and sadden by the sudden demise of this great lady.

I can still vividly remember the time she brought me to the clinic in a thunderstorm when i was a child as my mother was too busy attending to my vey young sister and baby brother. Such love for me and care for my family was shown in many more little instances throughout my life and i am extremely grateful for it.

I feel that the best way to remember her and to let her be alive in us is to live her way, her way of caring for others, to view other interests as important as our own.

With love to godma and may she be well and happy in her next life and may she attain nibbana soon.

For you godma ~
May all blessings be with you,
May all that is protect you,
By the protective powers of all the buddhas,
May safety ever be yours.

Who Ordered This Truckload of Dung?

I'm not crazy but Ajahn Brahm sure made me giggled a lot these few days during my train rides! He sure lived up to his name being the Sienfield of Dhamma. =)

Just a little intro on Ajahn Brahm, he was born in 1951 in London and obtained his degree Theoretical Physics from the Cambridge University. After teaching for a year, he traveled to Thailand and was ordained as a forest monk. Now, he's residing as the abbot of a forest monastery in Perth, Western Australia.

In this book, Ajahn Brahm relates to the readers profound wisdom of daily lives through story-telling, which he believe is the most effective way of communicating. Some of his stories are hilarious while some are touching, all of them serve one common purpose, to inspire the readers in their daily dealings. Instead of trying to relate to you how good he is, here are two stories for you to read: ~

Commitment

My view of relationships and marriage is this: when the couple are going out, they are merely involved; when they are engaged, they are still only involved, maybe more deeply; when they publicly exchange marriage vow, that is commitment.

The meaning of the marriage ceremony is the commitment, During a ceremony, to drive home the meaning in a way people usually remember for the rest of their lives, I explain that the difference between involvement and commitment is the same as the difference between bacon and eggs.

At this point, the in-laws and friends start to pay attention. They begin to wonder, "What has bacon and eggs got to do with marriage?" I continue.

"With bacon and eggs, the chicken is only involved, but the pig is committed. Let this be a pig marriage."

Laughing At Yourself

One of the best peices of advice i received as a young school teacher was that when you make a mistake and your class starts laughing, then you laugh too. That way, your students are never laughing at you, but with you.

Many years later, as a teaching monk in Perth, i would be invited to high schools to give lessons on Buddhism. The teenage Western school kids would often test me out by trying to embarrass me. Once i asked for questions from the class, at the end of my description of Buddhist culture, a fourteen year old school girl raised her hand and asked, "Do girls turn you on, then?"

Fortunately, the other girls in the class came to my rescue and scolded the young girl for embarrassing them all. As for me, i laughed and noted the incident down as material for my next talk.
On another occasion, i was walking along a main city street when some school girls approached me, "Hi!" they said in the most friendly of manners, "Do you remember us? You came to give a talk at our school a short time ago."

"I am flattered that you remembered me," i replied.

"We'll never forget you," said one of the girls, "How can we ever forget a monk named 'Bra'!"

If that wasn't funny, what is? (^-^)

Old Path White Clouds - Walking In The Footsteps Of The Buddha

Old Path White Clouds presents the life and teachings of Gautama Buddha. Drawn directly from 24 Pali, Sanskrit and Chinese sources. Retold by Thay Thich Nhat Hanh at his inimitably beautiful style, the book traces the Buddha's life slowly and gently over the course of 80 years, partly through the eyes of Svasti (buffalo boy who was later admitted in the order of the Sangha) and partly through the eyes of the Buddha himself.

"I have not avoided including the various difficulties the Buddha encountered, both from his disciples and in relation to the wider society. If the Buddha appears in this book as a man close to us, it is partly due to the recounting of these difficulties." ~ Thay Thich Nhat Hanh

An immensely beautifully written book about the Buddha's life and teachings. Nothing written in the book was overly mystical or supernatural but it was whole-hearted attempt by Thay to bring the Buddha across as a human being that lived among us. A human who faced difficulties not so unlike those that we face today and how he overcame it with wisdom and compassion.

Although it's more than 500 pages in length but the book simply does not bore (i speak from my experience as i've read it twice). Written in a very simple and humble way, the book will be an easy read for most people. For those who seek to have a basic but clear understanding of the Buddha's life and teachings, this is a highly recommended book.

Many a times, i've found myself with moist eyes. Filled with a simple sense of joy and wonder as i read situations in the book describing how the people are transformed with love and compassion. Like myself, i'm sure it will touch most readers as they read this book, a book of the human ability to love and empathise. =)

Empty? Full? Part 2

The Lord continued,"Look deeply into the bowl and you'll see that it is empty and full at the same time."

Disciples asked,"Lord, will you explain further to us what you mean when you said it is both empty and full?"

Lord,"When i said that it is empty, i mean the bowl is empty of a separate self. It is not independent of all other phenomena. It is non-self. When i said it is full, it means it is full of the all other conditions that arisen in order for the bowl to exist here and now in this very moment. It is inter-being"

"If we look deeply, we can see the entire universe within the bowl. The potter and his skill, water, clay and fire made it possible for this bowl to arise. Even our awareness of the bowl lies within, if not how can the bowl exists to us? It cannot. Thus looking deeply, we can see the entire universe within. The presence of one phenomena implies the presence of all phenomenas. Such is the law of interdependent arising."

"Simply said, this is because that is, that is because this is."

There is so much of you in me and there is so much of me in you. Within all of us lies the entire universe. Any lesser, neither you or me can be here in this very moment. Not any of the wonders of this world or the people we loved so much could not have so much existed here and now. Knowing such, how can we not say hello and smile a little smile to all those that we hold dear? I'm smiling as i typed these very words. Are you smiling, my friend? =)

Haha, on a playful note ~ if you watched Madagascar, skipper says," Just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave." =)

Empty? Full? Part 1

Holding up a bowl filled with water, the Lord asked his disciples, "Is this bowl full or empty?" One of them replied, "Lord, it is full."

Emptying the water, the Lord asked his disciples again, "Is this bowl now full or empty?" The same disciple replied, "My Lord, it is now empty."

The Lord exclaimed, "How can you say that! You should know better."
Seeing the perplexed faces of his disciples, he explained, "It is not empty, it is now full of air."

The dialog reminds us how misleading our perceptions can be. How our minds can be trapped by past perceptions, notions, dogmas and doctrines if we are to be too attached to what was in the past instead of being mindful of the present moment.

Non-duality is the true face of reality. To hold on to a view that it is or a view that it is not, can be erroneous. Reality needs to be experienced, it cannot be described by words or signs alone. Just like the bowl, it is experiencing reality fully without attachments, thus be it empty or full, it is in full contact with the present moment.

Heehee, maybe oneday, all of us will become bowls. To experience reality fully without attachments. =)

C & C ~ My Takes =)

C & C ~ Clarke Quay and Changi Boardwalk. Two very different sides of Singapore.

One's a bustling colourful street that comes to life as the sun sets, enchanting us with its beautiful lights. It's almost seems that it is requesting us to live life in the most colourful way we can ever be.

The other, however exudes a sense of peace and calmness among our hectic schedule. Somewhat reminding us to slow our pace down and to enjoy our life journey filling it with simplicity and joy.

Here's my take on them (links are below). Hope you'll enjoy the photos as much as i enjoy taking them. =)

Clarke Quay

Changi Boardwalk

潘嘉丽 - Love Me, Kelly

I did not follow the competition Project Superstar, pretty much did not know what to expect from 潘嘉丽 first debut solo album. Only time i heard her sing before this album were the numerous promotion clips for Project Superstar aired during TV commercial times.

It's definitely an album worth listening to. She carried the songs well. =) Hmm, i felt that there's a tinge of sandy lam in her voice. Sweet and soothing, excellent type of vocals for singing love ballads. Can't say much for her album cover and the pics provided. Pretty sure that she could have been made to look better in those album shots. Haha, it's pretty alright. Afterall, it's the songs and the voice behind them that really matters. =)

Just a bit of nit picking. The last song, 关于爱情, duet with 洪俊扬, does not fit into the overall theme. Sort of broke the tempo.

Recommended Tracks :
Track 2 爱, 无力
Track 3 答案
Track 5 有些爱
Track 6 非爱不可
Track 7 那一秒说的话
Track 9 美丽笨女人

The Art Of Happiness

A book where the east meets west, combining Dalai Lama's eastern spiritual tradition with psychiatrist Dr. Howard C. Cutler's western perspective.

It covers most areas of our human experience with the application of Tibetan Buddhism to everyday problems and how one can achieve peace and harmony. It is further augmented by Dr Howard's own observations and commentary.

As the basis of the book was on the numerous meetings that Dr Howard had with Dalai Lama, the book virtually comes to life as Dr Howard recounts their dialogs. It gives the reader a feeling that he or she was in the very room acting as a third party observer.

In the book, one underlying principle of the Dalai Lama was constantly stressed upon ~ that all of us have the innate desire to be happy. We know that people only hurt us because they want to be happy but due to their igorance, they have instead caused hurt. Knowing everyone around you shares the same innate desire to be happy, it makes it easier for us to forgive one another since we are all same in this fundamental manner. =)

One point in the book struck me ~ the subject of self-hatred. A well-known sickness of the mind in the field of psychiatric. Quite unknown to Dalai Lama at the time when this was first brought to his attention. As the book progressed, Dr Howard realised that self-hatred has its roots in our innate desire to be happy, to self-love. Acts of committing suicides, abusing themselves are the ignorant ways of people to escape suffering, to be happy.

Thus it is important that we understand love must come hand in hand with wisdom for us to lead a loving and meaningful lives that will benefit both ourselves and the people around. Think i'll stop here and sincerely wish that all of us will proceed with our lives with self-love and wisdom. =)

郭美美 ”不怕不怕”

Owned the album for sometime. Been wanting to write a quick review on it but just couldn't find the time to do so till now. So, here goes ~ I did not take a fancy to her first two singles, 老鼠爱大米 and 不怕不怕. It just didn't feel quite right and most likely, due to the songs themselves. It wasn't her, not quite her style.

If you have the same opinion as me, then i'm quite sure you'll be pleasantly surprised by her current album. Of course, her two singles are found in the album. What's more important are the songs that can be found within this album that truly showcases her talent. Her strong and distinct voice that wonderfully fills the sense of hearing of the listener. =)

Overall, a joy to listen to if you can bear with that 2 singles. =) Haha, there's always that skip button around, isn't it?

Recommended tracks:
Track 1 愛是你眼裡的一首情歌
Track 2 大聲說愛
Track 4 剪刀石頭布
Track 8 兩難
Track 9 回家真好

Broken Marriages

Met MM a couple of days back for dinner. After dinner, we had a nice cup of coffee at Dome Bishan. I still think Dome serves one of the most excellent hot coffee around (haha, can't say the same for their cold drinks though). =)

It was a nice evening chat, updated each other on our recent happenings. Among the topics and updates, we happened to touch on broken marriages. I supposed the topic popped up since all of us are at the common age for chancing upon such things, be it through ourselves, friends or any other mediums.

Why are there broken marriages? Of course, each case is unique to the circumstances and conditions that finally leads to the breakup and there are so many different factors involved. However, it is usually not a single factor that leads to the breakup. More than often, it is an accumulation of several factors over a period of time.

There is however one factor that i like to highlight. The factor of failing to recognise the transformation of love. First we have to understand that most of us fall in love, get together for a while before we tie the knots. More than often, such love is what we know as passionate love. Love that gives you excitement, makes your heart flutter everytime you see your sweetheart and puts you to heaven, above the clouds. Very nice feeling, a feeling that most of us yearn for.

After tying the knots and living with one another for a number of years, the couple realised that all the passion they felt during their courtship days and early days of marriage is no longer there. Life becomes somewhat peaceful and calm. They start to ask themselves what happened. Has the flame of love gone out? Does my partner still love me? Do i still love my partner? Finding no answers and unable to feel the passion anymore, they start to tell themselves that love is no longer there. From there, begins the downfall of the relationship. Sometimes, ending in divorces.

What they did not recognise was the very fact that the passionate love of a couple had transformed into a much more endearing type of kinship love between husband and wife. Instead of nuturing such love, they weaken and destroy it by looking elsewhere for passionate love once more. To feel the excitement once again.

Such kinship love is not easy to come by, it can take years to develop and nurture. It is the touching type of love where both partners come to accept each other truly as part of their life. Such love can create great understanding, trust and bondage between the couple. The problem with us it seems, instead of exploring the wonders of such love, we look and crave for past feelings. We stop living in the present where happiness can be truly found.

With all sincerity, i wish all of us will never fall into such blindness. To my all friends out there, may your marriage (for singles, that will be your future marriage lah) be filled with bliss in every moment. =)

Kamma

Had a conversation over msn with Su a couple days back and we briefly touched on the topic kamma. Decidedly to write something on it. If anything deviates from the teachings, then it is solely due to my limited understanding. Please let me know if that's the case so that i may deepen my understading. =)

Kamma, commonly known as the law of causes and effects. However, it is more than that. The law of causes and effects only form part of kamma. The word kamma implies volition meaning action with intention. Action here will encompass all three aspects, mental, speech and body. With every deed, it is naturally followed by an effect and this is how kamma came to be commonly known as the law of cause and effect.

Kamma itself can be a very broad subject but i'll try to touch on as much as to my limited knowledge. At the same time, i'll try to present it with an alternative view and how it may be applicable in our daily life. There are four main types of kamma. They are kamma that rippens in this birth, kamma that rippens in next birth, kamma that rippens in successive births and kamma that is ineffective due to a lack of auxillary conditions.

Some of us may find the notion of re-birth hard to swallow but why not look at the notion of re-birth to mean as seeing each moment anew. Or maybe you can think of it in such a way, each time you wake up, you are re-born as a new person. In that case, it is not so hard to relate to kamma. =)

As such, the first type of kamma can be looked upon as kamma that rippens immediately, e.g. the action of throwing a ball out of the hand, the effect is immediately seen as the ball flying away from you. The second type of kamma can be treated as kamma that rippens only in the next moment. e.g. the ball hits and breaks your neighbour's window after it is flung out of your hand. While the third type of kamma are those that bear fruits much later. e.g. your neighbour is out of town and doesn't know about the matter till he or she gets back. As for the last type, as the name suggest, kamma that doesn't rippen due to a lack of conditions. e.g. without a security camera, your neighbour may not find out who broke the window.

As mentioned kamma starts with intention. If we entertain certain thoughts long and often enough, it will leave an imprint powerful enough to materialise itself as speech or even physical actions. That is often why habits are hard to kick and also the reason why certain people keep repeating certain actions. As such, it is not hard to understand that all things are what we willed them to be with our kamma. Haha, reflecting on this fact, i think we should be honest enough to own up. A matter of conscience and also to refrain ourselves from making a habit out of lying and cowardice. =)

Kamma is then further divided into the following categories. Kamma that produces their own resultants, kamma that supplements (supports) the resultants of another, kamma that alters the resultants of another and kamma that destroys the resultants of another.

These kamma can be easier understood if we look at it using the examples of marble balls. Making use of one ball to hit another, it produces a direct effect of the second marble rolling in the direction that it was hit with earlier (own resultants). If we were to throw another and hit the second marble, mentioned earlier, in the same direction, it will help the marble to roll even further (supplement kamma). However, if we were to throw another from the side, it will alter the direction of the marble (altering kamma). But if we were to scoop the rolling marble up with our hand, we have stopped its rolling effects (destructive kamma). How it affects your daily lives, i leave this bit for you to contemplate. =)

Now that we understand that kamma is a natural law, it is just, it does not love nor hate. Life is conditioned the way it is being moulded by our very own actions. It is important for us to be mindful of our actions. Do bear this in mind that we are not due to receive our kamma in just proportion, we always have the choice to change them if we make the effort. A good example is in the earlier example of rolling marble. Without interference, it will continue to roll in that straight line. However, if we are quick enough to throw out another ball, then it can be enough to hit the first ball and alter its original course or even stop it in its track.

Actually kamma is more much more than what i have written but it's late in the nite. Think I'll just stop here. Yawnzz, nite nite. =)

A Tribute to My Beloved Late Uncle Choon Hai

There's really a lot i like to put down in words but i find it somewhat difficult as it's really too personal and there are too much inner thoughts and feelings that are hard to describe.

But one thing i really wish to pay a tribute to ~ is his love for children. When he loved us all, every one of us, his nephews, nieces, grand nephew and neices even though he had none of his own. Like his name suggested, Hai ~ meaning ocean. His generosity and love towards us was big and boundless like the ocean.
Below are photos of my two of my nieces, his grand nieces, the children that he showered so much love on.



In my memory with love always ~ my 3rd Uncle Hai

Beefy Intentions

Pardon the title but there's something to it that i like to put in down in words. =)

Sparked off by a little side talk i had with Wi at Funan Mac's while having a little snack. Btw, that's right after we attended the fotos exhibition (haha, just thought to mention it again in this entry since i believe it's really worth dropping in).

Wi related to me how Macs mixed up his orders (home delivery) a couple of days back. In his orders included a chicken fantastic meal but a beef fantastic burger was delivered instead. As he did not wish to keep his family members waiting, he decidedly accepted the food sent. So ending up eating a beef burger instead of a chicken. Mentioned in the passing that he felt bad about it as he worships Kwan Yin at home and he shouldn't be eating beef in front of Kwan Yin.

I made a suggestion to Wi that he did not have to feel bad about it and there are other ways to look at the same situation. First of all, i clarified to him, one do not differentiate between eating chicken, beef or another type of meat in the buddhist context. Eating meat is discouraged for all lay practictioners while vegetarian on the other hand is encouraged.

In Buddhism, all sentient beings are considered be equal, all born with an underlying Buddha Nature to be realised. If we look at it from a more material sense, then we are all equal in our desire to be happy and free from suffering. It's the same from the smallest insect to the largest mammals that we share our living space with, no being wish to be in pain and agony. =)

Reflecting for a while, i mentioned that he might have made a much better decision in accepting the order. By doing so, he did not have to keep his family waiting and he did not waste more resources by rejecting the order. In rejecting the order, the delivery man will have to return the food and re-send the correct order. In doing so, more fuel is wasted and more pollution is caused by the extra fumes emitted for the extra trip. Not only that, the beef burger will be rejected and as Mac's cannot keep their food beyond a certain time range, the burger will definitely be thrown away. As our resources are waning, looking from this angle, this might have been a better off decision.

Most importantly, it's our intentions that really counts at the end of the day. Of course, i'm not saying that good intentions coupled with bad actions is good but it is definitely better than bad intentions coupled with bad actions. =) Without perfect wisdom, how can we know if we truly did the right thing. But we can definitely rest easy if our intentions are perfect from the start. Mate, rest easy for you have made the decision out of love for your family. It's the loving intention that matters. =)