Some reflections of sorts on a short msn chat with one of my younger friends who was feeling out of sorts some time back. Below are a couple of points worth mentioning. Couldn't really find the time to post this up last few weeks due to commitments at work until now.
1. What is a good education? I have never truly ponder over this until my retreat when Bhante asked what do we think is good education and i realised i didn't quite know except that a good education is one that prepares and equips you with the necessary tools so you can continue to learn, not just in school but in every situation that you encounter in life. He pretty much went straight to the point. He said a good education is one that makes you realise you do not know everything. And when we do realise that it makes us more humble and more willing to listen and learn.
2. Why does one feel unsettled, restlessness during certain points of our lives? And no matter what we do, it is still there? It's really because we have not found our focus and once we have our focus, we will be able to form a channel for all these energies and naturally, our minds will become more settled. Sometimes, people may think their jobs, their hobbies, their passions are their ultimate focus in life at a particular point in time. At the moment, they may be so immersed into the particular activity that they feel happy, settled, contented.
But in reality, focus change. Focus themselves are impermanent. So, there is no need to be upset when we lose interest or passion in a particular activity. More important, is to understand that the lost of interest will pass as well and it may not be a bad thing if our energy can be used somewhere else for other activities that will lead to betterment of our lives. But of course if the activity helps to better our lives, then give it some thought that we should preserve with it even though the interest may not be there for the moment.
3. Why do people feel lost? As normal people, we have a need to identify who we truly are and why we are here, what is the meaning of life. There are people who may not go through this questioning phase but for some, it can be a real struggle. During these struggles, there are probably times when we ask ourselves who we are and we are hard pressed for an answer. Good news is if we arrived at that, then we at least identified the problem. Without identifying the problem, there can be no solution found. A quote from Venerable Mahinda,
"The true meaning of life lies beyond worldly happiness, beyond material wealth and status. As long as we do not have the wisdom to realise impermanence, unsatisfactoriness and emptiness of worldly things and pursuits, we will always be seeking for meaning. To realise the true purpose and meaning of life, we need patience, perseverance as well as faith and confidence in moral and spiritual values. We need to fulfil our immediate purpose before we can move on to something higher."
So what is our purpose? It changes from time to time, it is never the same, just like the rest of the phenomena. Why so? Simple ~ our desires, our goals and our responsibilities change, nothing stays the same. That's impermanence. As Ven Mahinda stated, we need to fulfil our immediate purpose before we can move on to something higher. This statement is simple yet powerful statement. It is down to earth and applicable to every single one of us.
Say for example when we are kids, for most of us, our immediate purpose was to study and get a good diploma or degree so we can land ourselves a stable job. But as we grow older, our perceptions change along with our needs and wants. So, now having landed in a stable job, our purpose may be to earn enough to sustain ourselves and for some, our parents and families.
So you see, our immediate purpose and responsibilities change as time passes but one thing doesn't change. What is that you ask? Our intentions, our very innate desires and intentions to be well and happy. No one wishes to find themselves in a state of suffering, every single sentient being has the same innate wish to be well and happy. In order to achieve happiness for myself, i strive to better myself, to better others, to try and bring love, peace and joy to people around me.
You might ask why do we need to make others happy when we are searching for happiness for ourselves? Reasoning is pretty simple, we cannot be truly happy unless our surroundings and people around us are too, happy and well. Imagine yourself constantly shrouded by unhappy family members and friends who are constantly plagued by suffering. Imagine a couple constantly arguing and getting into fights, do you think any of the party is happy? So, my intention is to be as selfless as i can and to love both myself and others more and to realise that "i" is no longer "i" and we are all inter connected (or inter-being as Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh terms it) so that i can achieve a state of love, peace and joy for myself and others.
4. Is our basic nature truly selfless? You might ask what if our nature are not that selfless? I have no doubt about it. In everyone, there's a seed of compassion. The only question is if we water this seed within us and take care of it enough so that it will blossom and manifest. So, how do we know if we have this seed within us? Do you feel like crying when u see people in distress when people are suffering? If you do, that is a sign that you have the seed of compassion within you. What you lack, may simply be watering, nurturing of the seed so that it blossoms beautifully.
5) What is meditation? My friend mentioned about seeing a youtube video where a girl was talking about her past lives and how she saw them when she went into deep meditation. She asked me if i experienced it before as she was planning to try out meditation as a form of reaching inwards.
My question ~ is seeing past lives so important? I have never seen any past lives before during my meditation. It is probably because i'm not good with my meditation but seeing or not seeing is not important. We have to understand that those are byproducts and not the true purpose of meditation.
What people do at times is when distressed is to add more noise, more distractions to fill in what's missing instead of making some effort to be calm and quiet. What can i say? Meditation is a way to develop our mind, our awareness. And the truth, for some, meditation can be quite distressing the first few sessions. We may not be able to sit still and our thoughts are flying around and the mind is probably the noisiest place ever.
But that is what meditation does, to allow us to hear these noises, these chattering in our mind, to be aware of them and to understand, to realise that they are impermanent. They arise and they fall like all phenomena. Its only when we recognise and realise that, the mind will become more settled and live in the present moment. Its very much like a lake with muddied water, if we keep stiring it, the soil will never settle, the water will not turn clear. Only when we accept the fact that the soil is there and part of the lake, we will stop stirring the water to clear the mud. It is only when we stop, the soil will settle and the water clears and bottom of the lake seen.
So all in all, meditation doesn't allow us to cope with our issues or cluttered mind or bring away our troubles. What it really does, is to give us a chance to be Aware. =)
