A quote from Mr Spock - “You mistake my choice not to feel as a reflection of my not caring, while I assure you it was precisely the opposite.”
It sounds very ironic but this is and can be the truth sometimes. There can be stages in life when we choose not to feel, seemingly apart from the people we hold dear most, simply for the only fact that we care too much.
The attachment, the conditional love we invest in, grows to the extent that it overwhelms, magnifying our feelings a thousand fold for every related word and action we come into contact with. It becomes unbearable to feel, so we choose not to feel anymore, shutting out these emotions so it no longer cripple us, allowing ourselves to do what is necessary.
So how can we ever judge a person for not feeling as much as us? Beyond feeling is not a good measure of past caring ...
Wednesday 29 May 2013
Monday 27 May 2013
Rabbit Hole
I watched Rabbit Hole by Pangdemonium, 2 weeks ago and wanted to write a quick recap to record some of my feelings and thoughts i had. Though i did not do so after the next day or 2, the thought to put it down so was constantly at the back of my mind. Unlike some impulses which sometimes falter and disappear after couple of days, this particular one did not. So, i guess i can't really classify it as an impulse, saying it a wish is probably more appropriate at this junction.
Rabbit Hole is more than just a ordinary theatre production, it did more than just entertain and wow the audience. It felt to me more like a call reaching to all of us who attended, to look inside our deepest memories and reflect on our life journey. The drama mainly revolves around a couple (Howie and Becca), their immediate family, relationships with one other and how they dealt with their own deepest emotions and experiences. There are several emotionally charged scenes in the entire show, 2 of them made a deep impression on me.
One was just right before the intermission. Howie discovered Becca accidentally recorded over a home video of their dead son, Danny. This gave rise to an argument with devastating results as they blamed themselves and each other for the loss of their son, ending up with both breaking down in shouts and tears. The atmosphere became intense and i caught myself with tears welling up, brimming. I was not alone, several members of the audience were sniffling and softly sobbing around me. The guy beside me literally broke down, 2 loud sobs and he dashed out of the theatre. i can only surmised he couldn't hold it back any longer and was considerate enough to leave the audience seats so not to disturb others.
Why did it affect us so much? All of us lost someone dear to us before and in this particular scene, it reminded us of how we dealt with the loss especially for those who lost someone before their time. It brought back memories when we were at the bottom of that valley, we were not able to see pass our own suffering, we could not see how the other party too is grieving just as much. Because we could not empathise, we blame them for not mourning and not respecting the memories in the manner we deemed right.
The other was in the later half of the show. Becca and her mum, Nat were clearing up Danny's room and as they reminisced and talked about Danny. Becca asked if the loss, if the hurt will ever go away. Nat was silent for a moment and she said it doesnt and after some time, we just learn to live with it and it becomes part of us. So much so that we can almost believe its not there anymore. But when that happens, we reach in and we realise the hurt, the loss are still there. They never went away, it still pains but they changed into something we can live with and no longer cripple us from living and loving any longer. This really struck a chord deep in my heart because i too, believe thats how we cope with our loss, our sadness and pick up our innate capacity to live and love again.
Rabbit Hole is more than just a ordinary theatre production, it did more than just entertain and wow the audience. It felt to me more like a call reaching to all of us who attended, to look inside our deepest memories and reflect on our life journey. The drama mainly revolves around a couple (Howie and Becca), their immediate family, relationships with one other and how they dealt with their own deepest emotions and experiences. There are several emotionally charged scenes in the entire show, 2 of them made a deep impression on me.
One was just right before the intermission. Howie discovered Becca accidentally recorded over a home video of their dead son, Danny. This gave rise to an argument with devastating results as they blamed themselves and each other for the loss of their son, ending up with both breaking down in shouts and tears. The atmosphere became intense and i caught myself with tears welling up, brimming. I was not alone, several members of the audience were sniffling and softly sobbing around me. The guy beside me literally broke down, 2 loud sobs and he dashed out of the theatre. i can only surmised he couldn't hold it back any longer and was considerate enough to leave the audience seats so not to disturb others.
Why did it affect us so much? All of us lost someone dear to us before and in this particular scene, it reminded us of how we dealt with the loss especially for those who lost someone before their time. It brought back memories when we were at the bottom of that valley, we were not able to see pass our own suffering, we could not see how the other party too is grieving just as much. Because we could not empathise, we blame them for not mourning and not respecting the memories in the manner we deemed right.
The other was in the later half of the show. Becca and her mum, Nat were clearing up Danny's room and as they reminisced and talked about Danny. Becca asked if the loss, if the hurt will ever go away. Nat was silent for a moment and she said it doesnt and after some time, we just learn to live with it and it becomes part of us. So much so that we can almost believe its not there anymore. But when that happens, we reach in and we realise the hurt, the loss are still there. They never went away, it still pains but they changed into something we can live with and no longer cripple us from living and loving any longer. This really struck a chord deep in my heart because i too, believe thats how we cope with our loss, our sadness and pick up our innate capacity to live and love again.
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