Monday 2 October 2006

爱还是被爱, 誰比較幸福?

It happened several times, mostly during small talks with friends. Not too sure how such remarks came about but it sort of left an impression on me since it was not the first time i heard such remarks.

Quite a number of them commented that i was likely to be on the losing end if i ever end up in a relationship since i'm not a very dominating guy. Yes, they think i'll be bullied (if you want to hear it in a layman's term). I find it funny though as i felt that there is no such thing as a losing party in a relationship. Afterall, everyone grows in the journey of life even though at times we can be quite blind to our own growth and that of others.

One of my colleagues, a working mum, said to me, "You are just like my son, the type that will get bullied by the wife if you ever get married." She continued, "You better get someone who loves you more than you love her. That's what i always reminded my son." Naturally, i asked why? For record sake, her rationale behind her reasoning ~ it is always more fortunate to be loved than to love.

How true is that? Do you agree with my colleague? Sorry if i seemed a little distracted over the weekend but i was pondering over it. I'm sure everyone has an answer just like me ~ at the bottom of our hearts. It's all within us, though some of us may take sometime to find it while some like me just need to reaffirm the presence of this answer that we knew all along was there.

Reflecting on my past and looking at the people in front of me, i think the more fortunate party is the one who is able to love. If i can and if i will, i wish to love more than to be loved even when it means that i may have to endure a little more in the relationship. It may seem a little silly but when we think carefully, it is not silly at all and it might be the most logical thought we may ever have.

When we truly love a person, we do want the person whom we love to be well and happy without any conditions attached. We will also very much like to know that our loved ones are feeling as blissful as they can ever be and they know they are being loved as much as they ever deserved to. Afterall, we cannot be happy if our loved ones are not well and happy. My greatest joy in life does not come from my own happiness (don't be mistaken, i'm still happy when i'm happy) but rather it comes from the knowledge that my loved ones are well and happy.

I'm not saying that it will be a bed of roses if we all think that way. (Sometimes, i don't even how to begin to show my care and concern for people, i can be quite inept at showing my feelings) Nobody's perfect but as long as i know that i have such a mentality, i will be more mindful of my actions and so less likely to hurt the people i care for. If i ever hurt you in anyway, please forgive me as i really never meant to in the very first place.

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