Just thought to put in down in words a little insight that was brought about by a quick coffeeshop chat i had with my new found friends, Cecilia and Lorine about 2 weeks back.
Oh before that, we had desserts at MOF and were making fun of David and Pearlyn - haha what's new right? And David, if you are reading this, i suggest that you make peace with the ladies soon, very soon. If not, the only person that is going to stand by your side during gate crashing will be only Dylan. Haha, Mark and I should be there, right behind you and i mean it ~ right behind, providing our utmost moral support. Yes, just moral support! hahaha
Alright, enough of the side funnies and back to the topic proper. We were talking about the gaining of merits and betterment of our lives (and future lives), how buddhism has a very practical approach to it. It is through such an practical attitude and the simple wish that all their friends and relatives to gain some merits that Ryan and Lorine will be holding their wedding dinner in a vegetarian restaurant. The attendees do not need to know that they are creating merits but nonetheless, they are still creating it, such is their commitment in promoting the cause of lesser meat eating and gaining of merits through such acts.
Though one may think that a single dinner might not amount to much, but let's remember the Butterfly Effect and how the smallest action can cause enormous effect or change in the long run. And there's a quote from Billabong that i like very much (and even have a bright orange t-shirt from that that reads the quote loud), "Be The Change You Want In The World". So simply said, it all starts from within. =)
Another point we touched on was children. Lorine and Cecilia both mentioned that sometimes kids are best left to their own devices so they can develop their full potential. I cannot agree more but parents must be wise enough to understand when children can left to their own devices and when guidance must be provided. Its a thin line but these have to be worked out between the parents and their children in order for the child to grow in a most conducive environment to realise their full potential.
Lorine also mentioned that kids may have certain tendencies as a result of their past lives, habits or unfulfilled wishes brought over to this life. And sometimes, its best to help the child fulfil these tendencies rather than go against them as that may be their purpose of life. On a practical approach, as long as it is good tendencies, yes, we should encourage it but if we know that the tendencies is ill in nature, then we should help the child to curb it, for their purpose of life could very well be to allow the parents to learn wisdom and patience since helping the child to curb certain habits which can be no mean feat, and may very well take a lifetime. Let's remember that love should be tempered with wisdom for the results to come to fruition.
There was a part when Lorine spoke about how a master once commented that if one is in doubt of one's afterlife, there's always the option of having children as the children can dedicate merits to their parents by means of chanting scriptures and it can help to promote the parents' status and the children too since merits will be gained by both parties. I offered a slightly more practical view of using here and now.
When one decides to have children, the parents will be committed to showering love and concern. This helps to promote loving kindness especially when we temper the love with wisdom. When one's mental state of mind and full attention of every single living moment is spent in love and kindness, one will naturally be "promoted" to a higher state and also one will not have the time and energy to scheme or commit ill-doing (this also comes from the part knowing we have to set a good example for the child to learn). So, in doing less ill deeds is also the equivalent of not committing "bad" kamma, in turn that results in more merits gained or not expanded. If it doesn't promote, it definitely helps to maintain. =)
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