Broken Marriages

Met MM a couple of days back for dinner. After dinner, we had a nice cup of coffee at Dome Bishan. I still think Dome serves one of the most excellent hot coffee around (haha, can't say the same for their cold drinks though). =)

It was a nice evening chat, updated each other on our recent happenings. Among the topics and updates, we happened to touch on broken marriages. I supposed the topic popped up since all of us are at the common age for chancing upon such things, be it through ourselves, friends or any other mediums.

Why are there broken marriages? Of course, each case is unique to the circumstances and conditions that finally leads to the breakup and there are so many different factors involved. However, it is usually not a single factor that leads to the breakup. More than often, it is an accumulation of several factors over a period of time.

There is however one factor that i like to highlight. The factor of failing to recognise the transformation of love. First we have to understand that most of us fall in love, get together for a while before we tie the knots. More than often, such love is what we know as passionate love. Love that gives you excitement, makes your heart flutter everytime you see your sweetheart and puts you to heaven, above the clouds. Very nice feeling, a feeling that most of us yearn for.

After tying the knots and living with one another for a number of years, the couple realised that all the passion they felt during their courtship days and early days of marriage is no longer there. Life becomes somewhat peaceful and calm. They start to ask themselves what happened. Has the flame of love gone out? Does my partner still love me? Do i still love my partner? Finding no answers and unable to feel the passion anymore, they start to tell themselves that love is no longer there. From there, begins the downfall of the relationship. Sometimes, ending in divorces.

What they did not recognise was the very fact that the passionate love of a couple had transformed into a much more endearing type of kinship love between husband and wife. Instead of nuturing such love, they weaken and destroy it by looking elsewhere for passionate love once more. To feel the excitement once again.

Such kinship love is not easy to come by, it can take years to develop and nurture. It is the touching type of love where both partners come to accept each other truly as part of their life. Such love can create great understanding, trust and bondage between the couple. The problem with us it seems, instead of exploring the wonders of such love, we look and crave for past feelings. We stop living in the present where happiness can be truly found.

With all sincerity, i wish all of us will never fall into such blindness. To my all friends out there, may your marriage (for singles, that will be your future marriage lah) be filled with bliss in every moment. =)